We're Home Now
by instinctualx
Summary: Sam returns home after 6 years away from the SGC with a daughter, a daughter that isn't her husbands. Rated for domestic violence issues, swearing and some adult topics. Eventually SJ.
1. Her Blonde Hair

**We're Home Now**

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, (, only Sam's daughter.

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Daniel/Janet.

Season: 7/8

Warnings: Adult Topics are addressed, aswell as Domestic Abuse.

Summary: Sam leaves her home and her past, to start again with Pete and their child, but the child isn't Pete's, Sam spent one night with Jack and fell pregnant, she knew it was Jack's baby,but Pete could be a father to the baby, Jack would have to give up his career and so would Sam. It was easier, or so she thought, togo with Pete.Aftershe leaves she realises what Pete is, a bully, it takes her nearly 6 years to get the courage to leave Pete and return home to her family and her life. (I really, really suck at summarys.)

* * *

Her blonde hair fell to the floor in long strands. She had grown her hair to get away from the past, every time she looked in the mirror she saw the warrior looking back. The short hair reminded her of her work, her life and her every thing, and then she met him. Soon after the proposal the ultimatum came, her career or him. In the end it wasn't really an ultimatum, more of a decision already made by him. She had to choose him. The outcome of their relationship proved that. She had no choice; it wasn't fair on the child, to have a mother that worked in such a high-risk faculty, and to have no father. The child would never know her father in any situation she chose. If she went with him, her baby would have a father, even it wasn't her real one. She couldn't do that to her child, she couldn't risk dying and leaving her alone in the world. Sure, her team would help, but she couldn't ask them to look after her child if anything happened to her. She knew they would however but she couldn't let them go through that. It was simply the best option, for everyone, or so she thought.

Her hair piled on the floor of her lounge; the woman behind her hummed a familiar tune. She looked in the mirror, never regretting her decision that she should go back. The only decision she regretted was the one she made when she left. She watched as her hair disappeared and the warrior returned. She smiled. She saw in the mirror the door open slightly and her daughter peer her head around it. Turning around she beckoned for the little girl to come and sit on her lap.

"Honey, there is something we need to talk about." She said, a flicker of sadness appearing in her eyes.

"What is it Mommy?" The girl asked as she climbed onto her mother's lap.

"Well you know I said that Daddy was going away for a bit," she said softly, "Well I have to go back to work."

"But you work with that woman called Sarah." The girl said, a confused expression appearing on her face.

"Yes, sweetie, but this is a different job. In a different place."

"But Mommy I like it here."

"I know you do. I do too."

"Mommy, when will I see Daddy again?" The girl asked, looking up into her mother's blue eyes.

"I don't know baby, but you'll see your Daddy soon." She said stroking the girl's blonde loose curls.

* * *

"I know… Yes, I understand… Are you sure you can't get away… Ok, I understand… It's fine, honestly… Ok, bye." Sam slammed her cell phone shut and chucked it onto the couch.

'This was not how they were supposed to find out.' Sam muttered to herself, 'Why today? Why couldn't she have gone for her interview tomorrow?'

"Honey! Mel's not going to be here to look after you so you are coming to work with Mommy." Sam said as she walked into the kitchen where her daughter sat eating Fruit Loops, she picked up a cup of coffee and leant against a cupboard.

"Do I get to met all those people in that photo in your bedroom?" The little girl asked. Sam laughed.

"Yes baby, you do, and remember what I said," Sam began.

"Yes, mommy I know, not to tell them about Pete." She said. Sam choked on her coffee.

"Since when was he Pete?" Sam replied quietly.

"Well, Mom, I know he hurt you, I saw him hit you. That's why we are here, back where you lived before I was born." Sam knelt down beside her daughter.

"Oh, honey," Sam cried, looking up into her daughter's blue eyes, "You shouldn't have seen that, I'm so sorry." Sam pulled her into a hug.

"Mom?" She replied a few minutes later.

"Yes baby?" Sam said, releasing her daughter from her grip.

"I'm happy here."

"I am too." Sam smiled. She took the cereal bowl and cutlery and placed them in their dishwasher. "Ok, you ready to go?"

"Yep!" They headed out of the house and got into their car. Sam slipped her seat belt on and her daughter did the same.

"You ok?" Sam asked, after driving for a few minutes in silence.

"Yeah, Mommy," The girl hesitated.

"Yes honey?"

"I like your hair." Sam turned to her daughter and smiled.

"Thank you baby." The rest of the drive up to the mountain complex was done in silence. Sam smiled the whole way there and her daughter looked out the window looking at her new home.

"Colonel Carter?" A surprised airman asked as she pulled up to the first security checkpoint.

"The only and only airman." Sam laughed handing over her ID and security pass.

"Welcome back ma'am." The airman said smiling, "If I may speak…"

"Of course."

"Place hasn't been the same."

"Thank you." Sam smiled, turning to the airman taking her ID and security pass. As she drove off she sighed. She was home, finally. After going through the second checkpoint Sam pulled her car into her usual parking space, right by the entrance. It seemed strange after not being at the complex for over 5 years that no one had taken her parking spot. She laughed to herself, taking her parking permit and resting it on the dashboard. She looked at the small girl next to her.

"Come on, let's go." Sam said, getting out of the car and walking around to the other side to get her daughter.

'They don't know I'm coming back,' she thought to herself. She imagined Jack's face. Her stomach knotted. She hated the fact she took away his daughter. She had set a few conditions, one was that she would be open about her daughter, two that she would explain to them why she left, and what happened after she left and three that she would not stand for any more crap. Not from Pete, if he wanted access to his 'daughter' then he would have to go through the courts and she would fight to keep her with her family, Sam's family. She imagined Daniel, then Teal'c. They had all been there for her, they would have been there for her, but she thought she had to act like a tough military 'hold your own' colonel, and that being vulnerable wasn't in the job description. Sighing she took her daughters hand and headed for the base.

* * *

"General?" An airman said as he knocked on the door of one Brigadier General Jack O'Neill.

"Yes airman?" Jack replied, his eyes still fixed on the mission report he was reading.

"We have someone here, they want to see you, Sir." The airman replied.

"Send them in." Jack replied irritably.

"Well, Sir, they are in the briefing room."

"Huh?"

"Briefing room Sir." The airman said again. "They also wanted to see Daniel Jackson and Teal'c." The airman quickly left before the General could inquire about his visitors some more. Jack placed his forehead on his desk.

'Why today?" He pondered, as be picked up the phone and paged Teal'c and Daniel. He then opened his drawer and pulled out a black diary. He flicked to the worn last page without even looking. There lay a photo of 'the team', him, Daniel, Teal'c and Sam, about a year before she met Pete. Even thinking about his name made his stomach churn. Pete took her away. She had just left. All he had to remember her was one night, their one lapse in their 'leaving it in the room'. She hadn't called, sure she called to invite personnel to her wedding, and to invite him, Daniel and Teal'c. Not many people went to her wedding to him; he guessed most of the personnel thought the same as him about Pete. Jack viewed Pete as a complete control freak. He thought he was a bully and he bullied Sam into leaving the job she loved. It had its downsides but the SGC was a family, they cared for every 'member' and no body was left behind. Or so he thought, Sam learnt that from him, yet she left everyone behind. The bang on his door brought him back. Looking up to see the same airman.

"Ok, I'm coming." Jack replied taking his head off of his desk to go and face some person that probably wanted him to sign away his soul. He walked out of his office and into the briefing room, looking around for his visitor.

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Please R&R, I should be updating every few days ) 


	2. I thought I could

Thank you for all your reviews, some of you asked why I hadn't mention the girl's name, it will become clear in later chapters, when Sam explains why she named her daughter that. So here is the next chapter...enjoy!

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Previously...

"Ok, I'm coming." Jack replied taking his head off of his desk to go and face some person that probably wanted him to sign away his soul. He walked out of his office and into the briefing room, looking around for his visitor.

* * *

Daniel walked along the grey corridors of the SGC towards the briefing room, after exiting from the elevator. He wondered why Jack had paged him, and not done what he normally did. Jack would come and find him and Teal'c, so that he did not have to sit in the meeting or briefing and endure torture while he waited for his former teammates to arrive and save him. Daniel also wondered if whatever it was they were going to attend was something Jack wanted to do, which ruled out all briefings or meetings. A flicker of hope appeared before Daniel, but he quickly squashed it back in his head where he kept everything that he didn't want to think about. Mostly the deaths, or losses of his loved ones. He had learnt that from Jack, as well as so many other important facts that life as an archaeologist wouldn't have given him. Jack had taught him so much, sometimes he feared the military mind inside him overpowered that of the archaeological one, he was a civilian, yet he had learnt all the tricks of the trade of being in the air force from Jack and Sam. Shaking himself from his thoughts as he walked into the briefing room. Daniel was never one for knocking. He walked into the room just after Jack. Jack looked around, as did Daniel.

* * *

Teal'c walked along the corridors of the base, his feet automatically taking him where he needed to go. He also thought through the reasons that O'Neill asked him to the briefing room. He had no scheduled missions to go on during the day, nor for the rest of the week. Teal'c could only imagine it was a personal situation. O'Neill didn't talk of his private life anymore, with him or Daniel. Not since Colonel Carter left 6 years ago. They hadn't talked, he hadn't rung her, none of them had, and she didn't ring them either. A feeling he had only felt a few times in his long life appeared in the pit of Teal'c's stomach. He felt it when he returned to Chulak after leaving with the Tau'ri, to find his home a burnt out shell. He felt it when he was confronted with the man that killed his father, and he felt it when he thought of the man that made Colonel Carter leave her job, and her family. He felt hatred. Teal'c often considered the reasons she left, and often found that there really wasn't any. She had just left. Teal'c and Daniel had believed that one day Jack and Sam would be together. Maybe she couldn't face being around Jack now she had found someone else. Daniel always swore that Sam still loved Jack and that was why she had left. She left because she loved Jack too much. Teal'c walked through the door into the briefing room. Only Jack and Daniel stood there, looking confused.

"There's no one here." Daniel stated.

"Ya think?" Jack replied annoyed. The airman told him he had a visitor, visitors after the use of 'they'. The visitors wished to see Daniel and Teal'c. "Didn't see anyone outside T?"

"I did not." Teal'c said.

"So who was it anyway?" Daniel asked, taking a seat at the table.

"Don't know, the airman just said I had a visitor, visitors." Jack said taking the seat at the head of the table. Teal'c took the seat next to Daniel. All had a clear view of the door.

"Visitors?"

"Yes, Daniel visitors." Jack replied. Footsteps could be heard. They turned their heads towards the door and the three men stood. 'They aren't an adult's footsteps, they are too light.' Jack thought. The sound of a child laughing echoed down the corridors, and seconds later a small girl ran through the door. Blonde curls cascading over her head and down to her shoulders, and her blue eyes sparkling. The next figure to enter the room shook all three men. A figure they had begun to think they wouldn't see again.

"Hi guys." The figure said as the little girl clung to her side. She didn't know the men before her and she was in a new, very strange situation.

"Hi?" Daniel said not believing what stood before him. Jack looked at the little girl, the blonde curls, the blue eyes, Sam's daughter, and Pete's. Jack got up and glanced at Sam, before turning and heading for his office.

"Jack, please." Sam cried, "you need to hear me out, you need to meet Abi. Please she's…" The door slammed shut before Sam could finish.

"Mommy why is he angry?" Abi asked. Sam didn't answer. "Mom, they are in the photo. Him and him and him." She pointed to Daniel and Teal'c and then at the closed door of Jack's office. A loud crash was heard and papers flew up in the air. The blinds were then closed.

"Yes baby, they are." Sam picked up Abi and walked over to the end of the table. "This is Daniel," Sam said pointing at Daniel. "And this is Teal'c." Sam said pointing at Teal'c.

"Tel," Abi began, "Tea," Sam smiled.

"You can call him T." Sam said looking at Teal'c who merely nodded. "Daniel, Teal'c this is Abigail Carter."

"It is a pleasure to meet you Abigail Carter." Teal'c said with a bow of his head. Abi smiled and waved.

"Hi T." Abi greeted.

"Hello Abi." Daniel said smiling.

"Hi Daniel." Abi said with a wave.

"Baby, you stay here and talk to Daniel and Teal'c. I'm just going to see Jack." Sam said, kissing her on her forehead and putting her down into the seat between Teal'c and Daniel.

"Ok, Mommy." Sam walked towards Jack's office, hesitating as she got to the door. She brushed her fingertips over the nameplate, Brig. General Jack O'Neill, before knocking softly. No answer. 'To hell with it' she thought. She opened the door confidently, taking two steps, then pushed it shut, the sound of the door closing echoed in the office. The floor was a sea of white, yellow and blue paper. The odd pale pink dotted in between. His in tray was upturned and lying in the corner, his out tray also upturned and lying in the opposite corner. The entire top of his desk free from objects, what should have been there piled up on either side of the desk.

"Come here to tell us about her?" Jack barked.

"Her? Don't you dare talk about my daughter in that way." Sam yelled back.

"Why have you come back?"

"Because I have left Pete." Sam said, her voice quietening slightly.

"And?"

"What do you mean and?"

"I mean you came back to tell us that you left that bastard?"

"Yes, and to tell you all about Abigail."

"Abigail, his daughter." Jack cried, Sam didn't answer. She really didn't want to tell him in a shouting match.

"Jack, listen to me, please." Sam pleaded.

"I don't have to listen to this. You left 6 years ago. Not one phone call, in those six years. The only a contact, an invitation." Jack shouted.

"How dare you?" Sam said.

"Excuse me?"

"How dare you use that on me. You don't have a clue why I had to leave." Sam turned away, tears threatening to fall.

"Oh, I think I do, you left because of him. You fell pregnant, and he said you had to leave your job. Right?" Sam swallowed and quickly composed herself.

"I wanted my daughter to have a father." Sam cried, turning back towards the blinds as a tear fell. Jack stepped from behind his desk to stand in front of it.

"Sam, he made you leave, didn't he, he used that against you?" Jack voice quietened. Sam sniffed. More tears fell down her cheeks.

"Jack, I thought I was doing the right thing." Sam turned around to face him. "I didn't want to leave her and not come home one night. Leave her all alone in the world."

"She wouldn't have been alone." Jack said, his voice softening.

"I wanted her to have her parents. Staying here, Pete would have left, and she would still have no father." Sam replied.

"Still?" Jack said, wondering what she meant.

"I'm sorry." Sam said simply, wiping her eyes. "I thought I could do this." Sam opened the door and walked out into the briefing room. Daniel was talking animatedly to Abi. Jack followed, but stopped and stood in the doorway watching the scene.

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Please R&R, the next chapterhas beenwritten, and should be up in a few days.


	3. Father's Joy

Next chapter, please R&R, I am also looking for a beta reader, if you are interested just leave me a note in a review and i'll email you. Thank you for your review, everything will be explained about Sam's absence in the next few chapters.

* * *

"Mommy, Daniel's telling me about you when you lived here before." Abi said as she stood up on the chair.

"Is he sweetie?" Sam said, the vulnerability of the previous moments draining from her as the confident mother appeared. Abi nodded. Sam smiled, and looked at her watch, it had been nearly 3 hours since breakfast and normally Abi would have a snack around then. "You hungry baby?" Sam asked and Abi nodded again. "Come on then." Sam opened her arms and Abi jumped into them. "I'm really sorry," Sam said looking at Daniel and Teal'c. Turning around she headed out of the briefing room and towards the elevator, on a base she knew so well, yet hadn't stepped foot in for so long. Despite wanting to leave, her feet led her to the commissary. She picked up two pots of Jello, one red and one blue. Abi loved red Jello. Funny, her father's favourite was red, no matter how much she tried to get Abi to try the blue one, she always insisted on the red. Abi was inquisitive like her mother but had that sense of humour like her father. Sam put her cup underneath the machine, pressing the button for her coffee. She took a carton of juice from the fridge and placed it on her tray. Picking up her coffee she paid at the counter. Abi sat in on a table at the far end of the commissary, on a table in the corner, where they both could see the comings and goings of the SGC staff. It also meant Sam could see if anyone had come to find them.

* * *

"Jack?" Daniel asked from the briefing room table.

"Not now Daniel." Jack said as he walked across the room and out of the door, Daniel and Teal'c stood. Daniel made to leave.

"Daniel Jackson it is not wise to follow O'Neill. He wishes to be alone," Teal'c said, stopping Daniel from following.

"Teal'c I wish we could do something."

"As do I, Daniel Jackson."

* * *

Sam and Abi left the commissary after about half an hour. Sam had Abi in her arms and was walking towards Daniel's office. She knocked on the door, and then opened it.

"Daniel?" Sam asked as she walked inside. "I am so sorry." Sam began, putting Abi down onto a chair. Her eyes filled with tears. Daniel walked forward enveloping Sam in a hug.

"Sshh, it's ok." Daniel soothed.

"I had to come back. There was nothing left for me with him." Sam mumbled pulling from Daniel's arms and stepping back.

"It's ok, you don't have to explain. I am just glad you are home."

"So am I, I have missed you guys so much." Sam replied, "Daniel, could you look after Abigail for me while I go talk to Jack. There are a few things I would like him to know."

"Of course." Daniel smiled, "Sam, he needs to talk to you too. This has gone on too long. Pete wasn't good for you, or Abigail. I can see it in you."

"Daniel, he really wasn't, but we are here now. We're home now."

"Yes you are. Did you choose Abi's name?" Daniel asked changing the subject ever so slightly.

"Yes I did, Abigail…" Sam began.

"Meaning, a father's joy." Daniel finished. Looking at Sam for confirmation, she nodded.

"She will be her father's joy." Sam said. Daniel caught what she meant, but didn't completely understand.

"Will be?" Daniel looked at Sam, confusion in his eyes.

"Yes. She will be." Sam kissed Abi on the forehead. "Abi, I'm just going to talk to a few people, Daniel here will look after you. Ok?"

"Yeah," Abi said, she had picked up a small metal object from Daniel's desk.

"Abi, sweetie, don't play with that." Sam said, she was just like her father, played with anything in reach.

"How long are you going to be, Mommy?" Abi asked.

"I don't know, baby." Sam said, she nodded to Daniel and kissed Abi again. Leaving Daniel's office and walking up to the briefing room, ready to face Jack.

* * *

Only a short update, but more to come in the next day or so. 


	4. Abi's The Proof

Sorry for the long wait, in the process of writing more at the moment, so the updates should be coming fasters, and as always please R&R.

* * *

Sam walked past the closed door of Jack's office twice, before she plucked up the courage to knock on the door.

"Come!" Jack barked, his head never lifting from his paperwork. Sam hesitated, but then opened the door.

'He has to know." She thought. She walked in and closed the door behind her. Jack looked up as the door shut.

"I thought you had left." Jack snapped.

"Well I haven't. I can't leave again. Everything I want is here in Colorado. I made a mistake moving to Denver, I thought it was what I wanted, but I knew when I got there, and the SGC wasn't in my life, Daniel and Teal'c weren't in my life, and you weren't in my life, I knew I had made the biggest mistake." Sam said. She looked at Jack. He sat motionless. Almost frozen where he sat. "Jack? Please, say something."

"What would you like me to say, Carter? I'm happy you are back, I'm happy that you left Pete. I'm happy that now you are back, everything can return to as it was. Shall we just forget the last six years ever happened?" Jack snarled, hurt etched in his face.

"Jack, I can't forget the last six years, they were the best and worst six years of my life." Sam cried, memories flooding back.

"Carter?" Jack said. "I'm sorry I should have said that." Fear washed over her face and her eyes glazed over.

"Jack," Sam shook the memories away. "I made some of my biggest mistakes in those six years. I left my home. I left my family. The only person I had left was Abi. He wasn't who I thought he was. I knew inside, I just wanted him to change. I should have listened to you; I should have listened to Daniel, and Janet. Even Teal'c expressed his dislike for him, and you know Teal'c." Sam smiled, trying to change the mood of the conversation, trying to bring in humour instead of emotions. Jack waved his hand at the chair in front of his desk. Sam sat down, and Jack took his place behind the desk.

"Carter," Jack began. Sam shook her head.

"Sam. I don't want to go back to being 'Sir' and 'Carter'. I came back to be me, Sam Carter. I don't want to be _Samantha Shanahan_ anymore. I've got the divorce papers, signed and approved. All he needs to do is sign on the dotted line. As soon as he does Samantha Shanahan is gone."

"Sam, what happened that was so bad, that now you are taking Abi away from him, I know what it is like to lose a child," Jack began, his voice strained.

"He hasn't lost a child. It never had a child in the first place, and he knew it. He knew that he was the only father Abi would get, because I had broke the rules, and Abi was the way to prove it. _They just have to take a blood test, compare your DNA, all on record, and they will know_ he told me, threatened me. I couldn't risk it."

"Hold on…" Jack began.

* * *

"Abi, can you get off that please." Daniel asked, as he watched the five-year old walk over his papers on his desk. He looked up into her blue eyes. "Please?" Abi laughed, and Daniel rose, grabbing her round the waist and swinging her off the desk. Mid swing Daniel heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." He called, setting Abi back on the floor.

"Hi." Jack said sheepishly.

"Hi Jack. Sam's was looking for you."

"I know. We talked." Jack said, as he bent down to talk to Abi who was hovering in between the two men.

"Hi…" Abi whispered, looking up at the man who looked so familiar.

"Hello, Abi. Do you know who I am?" Jack asked, as he shuffled forward on his knees, his own eyes at her eye level, a bright smile across his face. Abi nodded.

"You are…" Abi paused for a second as Sam stepped into the doorway behind them, "Jack. Mommy told me about you." Jack laughed and Abi stepped forward, putting her small arms around Jack's neck. Jack put his arms around the little girl, holding onto her like she would disappear again. A single tear rolled down Sam's cheek and she smiled, silently stepping behind Jack, Abi watched as Sam placed her hands on his shoulders. Jack knew the touch and stayed still. Daniel snuck out of his lab, leaving the three of them together to share their reunion.

"Yes I did Jack, and I told her that I loved you very much, and that one day we'd all be together." Sam whispered. Jack stood, bringing Abi up in his arms. He held Abi closely; against his left side, and Sam around his right side. His second chance wrapped around him.

* * *

I know it's only short, but there is more to come... and soon! 


	5. No Apologies

Ok, so it wasn't maybe as soon as I said, but it's here. I'm going to try and update this every Saturday, so the next update should be in a week. Anyway this chapter didn't exactly turn out the way I hoped, but hopefully it works. As always please R&R!

* * *

"What can I do?" Jack asked a certain archaeologist and Jaffa as he pulled up a chair and sat opposite them in the commissary.

"Jack, it is your decision." Daniel replied, lifting his head momentarily from his historical book.

"Carter asked to be reassigned back here." Jack began, hesitating at whether to continue. "The file was on my desk when I walked back in after she arrived. Needless to say it didn't stay there long." Jack chuckled; he was always the one turning his discomfort into something funny. Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"Jack?" Daniel asked warily, worried at the fact Jack was hiding his feelings.

"She told me Abi is my daughter." Jack stated, like nothing out of the ordinary, and Daniel coughed as he went to drink his coffee.

"Are you not pleased, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked, noting the lack of expression on Jack's face.

"T, it's hard to explain, it's like waking up in the morning and finding… everything different." Jack frowned. "Well, you get the picture. Everything is changing again. Sam is back with a daughter. She's been gone what six years and then she turns up, with a daughter. Who is… mine."

"Jack, Sam brought Abi up with Pete, and now she has left the confines of that 'safe' life back in Denver to come back here. To ask for reassignment to a base that holds so many good and bad memories for her, it has to mean something. Mean something about the life she is leaving behind in Denver. Maybe it wasn't all it cracked up to be." Daniel answered, drawing the last line out.

"O'Neill, the Tau'ri work in unexplained ways. Colonel Carter is a strong fearsome warrior; maybe she found her life at Stargate Command to be better than her life with Pete Shanahan." Teal'c said and Jack sighed quietly. Pondering the thought.

"I've just got to do something." Jack mumbled, rising from his chair, looking at the confused faces of Daniel and Teal'c. He turned and threw the doors open, briskly walking to his office.

* * *

The door slammed behind the Brigadier General, he knew what he wanted and which pile to look in, so he took the first few folders off the top and sat down in his chair, resting the stack on his knees. He glanced at the top right hand corner on the front of the folders for the names, not finding what he wanted he dropped the small pile onto the floor next to him, and reached out for some more from the same heap of bright yellow personnel folders. As the heap diminished so did his confidence in finding the folder he wanted, but his confidence in knowing why the folder wasn't there increased. She didn't want him to know. He picked up the last folder and barely glanced at the name on the corner, knowing it probably wouldn't be hers, at least not the one at the bottom of the pile. As soon as the rank hit him, he opened the file and began to read. _Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter, United States Air Force 43-412-6775-320. _He continued reading, until her got to her skills. _Hand-to-Hand Combat: Level Four._ When she left she was at level three, and he knew she hadn't been assigned a base, but had opted for a civilian job. Yet, she had 'upgraded', even though it wasn't needed for work reasons. The training was normally only available for members of special operations, not if she was working in the control tower at Denver International Airport. He turned over the few pages of history to look at her medical file. _October 16th 2004 – Confirmed Pregnancy – 5 weeks. _She left a week later. Jack sighed, his eyes darting over the brief 'contents' page of her medical file. _May 28th 2005 – Gave birth to baby girl, Abigail Thera Carter6lb 8oz. _His eyes darted over the page. His hands trembled and sadness swept into his eyes as he read the rest of her medical history. _January 4th 2006 – Severe swelling and bruising around left eye, accident at home_. _November 2nd 2006 – Confirmed Pregnancy – 4 weeks, had an abortion. December 1st – Admitted to St Anthony's, 4 cracked ribs and broken collarbone. March 28th 2007 – Admitted to St Anthony's, broken arm, cracked rib. October 9th 2007 – Treated for depression. _Jack threw the folder onto his desk. The pages scattered over it. He didn't want to know the rest.

"Shit!" Jack cried as he stood aiming for a blank space on the wall, his fist hitting it hard. The pain shooting through his knuckles, his hand and up his arm. Drawing back and punching again, his blood smearing across the plain wall, his fingers burning, stinging, bleeding. "I…"

"Jack?" He turned. The door was open and a figure stood there. His hand dropped to his side, hiding the bloody mess he had made of it. He motioned to a seat. "I, I saw you just now. You know don't you." Jack shook his head, walked around and pulled up another chair. He closed the door and locked it, before taking the seat.

"No, Sam I don't. If you don't tell me, I don't know. As far as I was concerned you was happy and I wasn't going to ruin it." Jack reached over and took her hands in his.

"Oh God Jack, your hand." Sam whispered, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand.

"Its fine. Just Sam, don't leave again. Don't shut me out." Jack gripped her hands tight.

"Jack, I picked up the phone to ring you so many times. To make sure you were all ok. To make sure you were ok." Sam said, her head cast downwards.

"I would have come and got you, and Abi. I would have come and got you out."

"I thought, after that night… well that you regretted that night. I thought you didn't feel the same as I did." Sam cried, her head cast downwards.

"I could never regret that night." Jack assured her, freeing a hand to tilt her head back up.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry." Sam looked into his eyes.

"No apologies." Jack stated. "But, please, tell me." Sam pulled her hands from his grasp, and pressed up against the back of the chair wrapping her arms around her body.

"You won't, you know…"

"I won't what, Sam?" Jack asked softly.

"You won't like it." She replied weakly, playing with her fingers as she began to explain.

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So there, Chapter 5, again please R&R. Thanks.


	6. It Was Never Your Fault

So here's the next chapter, and a longer one too... Also, I'm no doctor, so some of the medical details maybe a little off. Asalways please read and review. Thanks.

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Previously...

"I won't what, Sam?" Jack asked softly.

"You won't like it." She replied weakly, playing with her fingers as she began to explain.

* * *

"When I left, I thought I could get over everything. I thought I could forget about my life here, what I had done, what I was becoming."

"Sam, you have done nothing to be ashamed of."

"He made me feel like I was some… monster. He never understood why I did the things I did. Said my job was just plain killing." Sam paused for a breath, glancing at Jack to see his reaction. Looking into his eyes she saw understanding. "I told him my job was exploring, finding the unknown and going there. I never went to work thinking I would kill. I never killed out of cold blood. I killed because it was between them and us." Sam looked at Jack her eyes searching for answers.

"You are not a monster Sam, you have saved so many people. Did he know about that too?" Jack asked, knowing what it felt like to be with someone that didn't understand the work he did. Sara knew when he came back after his first Black Ops, he had changed. It scared her.

"He never let me tell him the good things we did, or the things about my job I loved. Only zoned in on the bad. He asked me if I had ever killed any children, any mothers, any fathers. He was disgusted. He made me feel disgusting." Sam replied, her head downcast, and her hands laced together. "I told him after he got clearance about Jolinar, and that I might not be able to… conceive. He said he understood. Made a remark about that's the price you pay. Never really understood what it meant, until after Abi was born. He thought I didn't deserve her. He made me think I was a bad mother."

"A kid couldn't ask for a better mom, any child of yours has got to be perfect. Just like you Sam." Jack smiled sincerely. Meaning every word. A faint smile spread across her face for a few seconds.

"Thanks Jack." Sam said, her eyes once again on her hands. "Abi never really called him 'Daddy', I think she picked up on some of the tension between us, when it was us she nearly always called him Pete. Sometimes she would invite a friend over from school or something, and she would say 'I have to go ask Mommy and Pete.' It annoyed him endlessly. No matter how hard he tried to be a father to her, she never really excepted it, she never really saw him as Dad."

"She seems like a very smart girl." Jack said, reaching forward and lifting her chin again. "Look at me, Sam, don't be afraid."

"She is a smart girl. She has a certain sense of humour that no one really gets. I get it Jack; it is your sense of humour. Every day in since I left a part of you has been with me. She reminds me of you so much. The way she won't ever try blue Jello, but insists on having the red." Sam smiled, her hands relaxing with her body.

"Well red is so much nicer." Jack teased.

"It's not." Sam retorted.

"Is."

"Not." They stared at each other for a few seconds. Blue eyes meeting dark brown ones.

"I missed you." Jack whispered.

"I missed you every day, I don't think I could have lived if I didn't have Abi. If I didn't have Abi there would have been nothing to live for." Sam replied, her fingers gently tapping against her leg. "The first time, he hit me was just before Christmas. I had been out shopping for decorations for the house, and for presents for Abi. She was only about 6 months old. I decorated the tree; Abi lay on the couch, surrounded in pillows. I was a little upset; I missed our Christmases, the merry atmosphere. I just had a bad feeling about things that night. When he came home he was drunk. I'd already put Abi to bed, and was on the couch thinking. I had a bottle of red wine, and I was crying. Crying about my life, and what I had, a then thrown away. I was regretting moving to Denver. I was beginning to think Abi would be better in Colorado Springs, with us." Sam hesitated, and Jack leant over taking her hands in his and squeezing them gently.

- -FLASHBACK- -

"I'm home." Pete shouted as he slammed the door shut, walking into the lounge.

"Can you be quiet I've just got Abi down." Sam whispered, wiping at her puffy eyes.

"Hey, baby, what's wrong?" Pete slurred.

"It's nothing, I was just thinking about things." Sam sniffed and curled up on the couch as he fell next to her.

"I'm your husband. We don't keep secrets remember." Pete said, the volume in his voice increasing.

"I know, it's just, I don't think I can talk to you about this." Sam said, grabbing a pillow and wrapping her arms around it.

"Why not, Sam?" He shouted.

"Because you won't understand." Sam cried, standing up as he did. He turned to face her, as she tried to get past. "Please, can you move?" She asked.

"Why won't I understand Sam?" Pete asked, staggering slightly.

"Because, because I'm missing home, and you weren't at home." Sam said quietly, almost in a whisper. She looked at him and saw his anger.

"This is home now! I am home." Pete shouted, lifting his hand and hitting her across the side of the face, before she could react. The loud smack echoed through the room, and her hands flew up to protect her face, as she fell back onto the couch. "I'm going to bed." Sam sat motionless, sobbing quietly.

- -END FLASHBACK- -

"I thought it was the drink, he was just drunk. But then it happened again."

"Why didn't you leave, Sam?" Jack asked, getting up to kneel in front of her. His knees protested but he didn't care.

"I couldn't, I didn't really realise how bad it had got until it was unbearable. In the end I just got used to it, thinking I would have nothing if I came back, but I found out everything I had was back here." Tears fell down her cheeks, her voice quivering as she spoke.

"It's ok, you are home now, and you are back where you belong. With your family." Jack said, reaching up and brushing away her tears.

"I had to go to the hospital shortly after Christmas, the beginning of January I think." Sam continued and Jack nodded. "He had come home late, and was drunk again. He was angry. He found me asleep in Abi's room, hugging a photo of you, Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, General Hammond, Dad, Cassie and I, the one that was taken just before I left. He dragged me out of the room, waking me in the process, I struggled but was caught unaware, he liked it that way, and he felt superior. He'd always do it when I wasn't alert or aware.

- -FLASHBACK- -

"Downstairs." Pete snarled, and she dropped the photo, the glass shattering as it hit the floor. He dragged her down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Pete, please you are hurting me." Sam cried, as he threw her against a cupboard. Her eye caught the edge and she flew back down onto the floor.

"You are here with me now. That _life_ as you call it has gone. What you used to be has gone. You are my wife, you should be thinking about me, and our daughter." Pete spat as he reached for the fridge, opening it and taking out a beer. He left the room and Sam lay there, she didn't know how long she was on the floor for, but when she did get up Pete was gone. She walked upstairs and took Abi from her cot and got a taxi to the hospital.

- -END FLASHBACK- -

"When I came back the next morning he was sat at the kitchen table, with his newspaper and coffee, acting like nothing had happened. He asked me where I had been and why when he came home the house was empty. He told me to be more careful." Sam said as more tears fell down her cheeks, and Jack leant up to wipe them away.

"Sam, no matter what he said it was never your fault."

"Oh Jack, I don't know what to do, now he's gone and he's still hurting me. I just want it over. I want to get back to my life."

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So there it is... next update in a week or so.


	7. Always

I'm sorry it has taken so long for me to update, but I've been busy with schoolwork and everything that i've cut down on writing. But here is the next chapter...

Note: This has some swearing and some violent and adult content.

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Jack had fought with his feelings for the past six years, he wanted to go and see her, to talk to her, just see her smile one more time, in those years. But couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew if he did she would be with Pete. Not that he didn't want to see her happy, just that his heart would break all over again, and he didn't think he could bear that.

"Sam, you chose to be who you are. You chose to be here. He can't hurt you anymore." Jack said, reaching across to take her hand, "I won't let him hurt you or Abi again. Ever. I promise you that." Sam smiled.

"I was…" Sam began, stifling a sob, "I was pregnant." She looked up into his eyes, looking for his feelings about it. She saw need, and she thought she saw a flicker of anger. At that point she pulled her hand away, and turned away.

- -FLASHBACK- -

Sam opened the front door, and came in from the rain. She was soaked through, her 'uniform' for work soaking wet. Her blue shirt, see through, clinging onto her body. Her knee length black skirt, plastered to her legs, and her black blazer hanging over her arm. She cursed when she saw the car in the drive, knowing she was late. Abi was at one of Sam's friends, as she had told Sam she needed a break. The short walk to the front door in the pouring rain was what had soaked her the most, more than the long walk through the airport, where she worked. She could hear the television as she tried to close the door quietly, but the wind caught it and it slammed shut.

"I'm home." She called, putting on her 'I'm-sorry-I-got-stuck-in-traffic' face, which wasn't entirely untrue, she just happened to have had to work an hour or so extra due to the bad weather. "Sorry I'm late," Sam began, hanging up her blazer and taking her shoes off, "I got stuck in some traffic on the highway." She said as she walked into the lounge where Pete was sat in front of the TV, surrounded in empty beer cans. "You've… drunk a lot." Sam mumbled, as she counted the cans she could see.

"Well, I had a bad day." He said viciously. "The guy I arrested for murder, got bailed, and has skipped country. I got demoted, for 'assaulting' a man. I didn't even touch him. He's taking the piss. Then I come home," He took another swig from the can in his hand, "and my wife isn't here, and she should have been here, over two hours ago." He stood and turned to face Sam, who was standing behind the couch.

"Well cause of the bad weather conditions I had to work late, I wanted to make sure the flights were ok and all. Then I had to walk through the terminals to my car, and the traffic on the highway was horrendous." Sam explained, but he clearly didn't buy it. She looked down at her hands, and laced her fingers together. After a few moments she quietly left the room.

- -END FLASHBACK - -

"I cooked the dinner, I did everything I was told to do." Sam said, not daring to look at Jack, not daring to see his reaction. She closed her eyes tight, and then she felt his hand back on hers.

- -FLASHBACK - -

Sam slipped into bed and pulled the duvet up and around her. She faced the window in her bedroom, her back towards where he would sleep. The moon shone through the open curtains. It had been a two and half hours since she had cooked dinner. He didn't speak to her through their meal, nor afterwards. Instead she decided to go to bed earlier, hoping he would fall asleep downstairs. Not even when she slept was she safe anymore. But she couldn't leave. She had nothing left except Abi, and at least Pete was a good father to her. Even if she didn't really except him as one, maybe Sam should have enforced him as the father, but she never did. She had never really told Abi that Pete was 'daddy'. Engrossed in thought and exhaustion she fell asleep. Not noticing when Pete practically fell into the room. He was angry that his wife was not waiting for him, and angry that she had her back to him.

- - END FLASHBACK - -

"I didn't hear him come in, I should have Jack, I have been trained to. It was my fault…"

"Sam, don't you ever say it was your fault." Jack cried, "it was never your fault. You never did anything wrong."

"It was too late when I felt him… pawing at me, pulling at my clothes. When I woke all I saw was the butt of his gun hit me in the face. Next thing I knew it was half twelve in the morning. I could smell sex in the room. I struggled to remember what had happened. But nothing." Sam stared at a black space on the wall, Jack's hands comforting on hers.

"I'm sorry." Jack said after a few minutes. Sam looked at him.

"Why are you sorry?" She asked.

"I picked up the phone so many times. Got in my car. Wrote letters to get you ordered back here. I never went through with any of them. I didn't want to intrude on your 'happy' family. If only I had, this could have been prevented."

"It happens Jack. I did the same. I imagined what it would be like to be back here and for you to play the doting father, but they were only fantasies. When I found out I was pregnant I couldn't cope. I had an abortion and somehow Pete found out. It just got worse. Telling me not only did I kill then, I killed now. Made me out to be some martyr for our 'cause'." Sam paused, and looked into his eyes, now full of care and concern. "I was treated for depression a year or so later. During the next eighteen months I was either drugged up to my eyeballs or had no strength to even get out of bed in the morning. One of my friends took custody of Abi while I recovered. I lost out on a year and a half of her life because of that bastard. That was what made me leave in the end. What made me get over my depression and beat him."

"Where is he now Sam?" Jack asked softly.

"I trained in level four hand-to-hand, and went to the gym every day after he went to work, behind his back. Got back into shape ready to stop him. Shortly afterwards Abi came back home. He didn't hit me for months after she came home. And then one day it started again. The mental and physical abuse only this time I fought back. He stopped and I thought he wouldn't do it again, and he didn't. Then I found bruises on Abi a month ago. I asked her and she said she wasn't allowed to tell me. I asked her if it had happened before, she said no. That night I left, I didn't even tell him I was going. I licensed my gun again and we came back. Been setting up home for the past month, getting Abi settled into school. No sign of Pete." Sam held Jack's hands tightly, and as he got up she followed. Her hands gripped onto his tightly.

"Sam…" Jack began, "I am going to find out where he is and what he is doing. Is that okay?" She nodded and he pulled her into his arms.

"Thank you Jack, for listening."

"Always."

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Please R&R as always. 


	8. I'm Not Scared Of You

I know it is only a short entry, but as I have a week off, I should be able to get some more done... hopefully... anyway, please read and review. Thanks.

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He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for the traffic lights to turn green. As they changed he pulled off sharply, watching as his familiar surroundings turned into an endless stretch of highway. His mind raced through the plan in his head.

He turned into her street, driving slowly, looking at the numbers, and looking for her house.

She was sitting round the back of her house; her daughter in her lap listening to her mother read her a story. They didn't hear the car pull up out the front, or a man get out and walk up to the door. He peered through the window, turning when he heard laughter. He made his way around the side of the house and saw the two sitting together. Both were smiling, and the little girl was laughing.

"So the prince took his sword," Sam began, glancing up and seeing his face, freezing. Quickly regaining her composure she finished the sentence, "and cut her free. The princess jumped down and into his arms. He led her to his horse and they rode off into the distance." Abi jumped off her lap, not noticing the man by the side of the house.

"I'm going to play inside Mommy."

"Ok. I'll come in in a minute." Sam replied.

"Ok." The girl happily replied before opening the back door and running inside, the door shutting behind her.

"What are you doing here Pete?" She asked.

"I came for my wife." He replied, stepping up onto the decking. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here. We live here. Look, I don't want any trouble, so could you please, just leave us alone." Sam said and turned to go inside. A hand grabbed her arm, and she turned back sharply facing him. Her face inches from his. "Let me go."

"I don't think so." He roughly twisted her arm, and all the years of submission fell back into place, the memories coming back, haunting her, she fell forward against the wall. He placed a hand on her head pushing her face into the glass. "Get inside." He tried to grab her hair but couldn't get a grip instead going for her neck, squeezing it tightly as he pushed her into the house and into the kitchen. He let her go and she fell to the floor. She quickly got up and backed away, edging towards a set of drawers by the door.

"Why are you back here, what do you want?" Sam asked, and he turned to look out of the small window in her kitchen.

"I am back here to get my wife and my child. I want my wife and I want my child."

"Your child?" Sam said, her confidence seeping back into her.

"My child."

"Your child has gone. You are not fit to be a father. What did I even see in you, why did I go with you, give up everything I love for you."

"It's him, isn't it?" He spat. "He is the reason you left me."

"No. You are the reason I left. I didn't want to be manipulated anymore, I didn't want to be used." Sam slowly edged the drawer open behind her. The draw squeaked and he turned.

"Get away from there." He shouted.

"You don't scare me anymore."

"Really? We'll see." Pete said, pushing Sam roughly aside, as he stalked through the house. "Abi?" He shouted, heading upstairs.

* * *

Evil, I know, however you'll find out sooner, if you just click that little button and review... thanks... 


	9. No! Wait!

So another chapter, later than I thought, but I had a bit of trouble writing this, so heres the next chapter and please R&R!

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Sam ran after him.

"Get away from her." She shouted, grabbing his arms and pulling him back. Pete turned and hit her across the face, her arms barely having time to let go of his as she fell back and slid down the wall. He run up the stairs and went into the first room, looking for Abi.

"Abi?" Pete called softly. "Abi, it's me." Sam got back up and followed him up the stairs.

"Abi, stay where you are, I'm coming." Sam shouted as she reached the top of the stairs. Pete came out of the first room, and turned to face Sam. He walked towards her and she stood still, holding on to the banisters either side of her. "What are you doing to do?" She asked calmly, staring at him.

"Look, I don't want to do this I just want you and Abi back. I want it to be as it was." He replied, as he stopped a foot or so before her.

"The way it was?" Sam said, not believing she was hearing this from him, "Back when you used to hit me? You want it to be like that?"

"It is your own fault that I hit you." He spat.

"Yes, Pete, it is all my fault, as usual." Sam glared.

"Are you coming with me, or will I have to make you?" Pete asked, Sam stepped forward and slid past him, her head down. She walked to the end of the hallway and went into Abi's room.

"It's ok." Sam said as she closed the door, and the small girl run to her. Sam fell to her knees and took her in her arms. "It's ok, everything's going to be ok." Sam whispered into her ear, "there is just one thing baby, we are going to pretend to want to go back to Denver with Pete, but really we aren't."

"Why is he here, mommy?"

"Because he wants us to go back to the way we were before," Sam began.

"I don't want that, I don't want to go back, I want to stay here with you and Jack and," Abi said, as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"That's why we are going to pretend to want to go back with him, ok?" Sam said wiping away the tears on her daughters face.

"Ok." Abi said as she grabbed Sam's hand, Sam squeezed it and stood up as the door opened behind them.

"What have you chosen Sam?" Pete asked, the question rhetorical. They were coming with him whatever she chose.

"Let me get some of Abi's things." Sam said quietly, her head once again downcast, as she took some of Abi's clothes from her drawers. Abi took a bear off of her bed and held it tightly. When Sam was done Abi went to her and held her hand. They walked from the room and Sam squeezed her hand, they went into Sam's bedroom and Abi sat on the bed waiting for her mother to get her things.

"Mommy?" Abi said quietly and Sam stopped her 'packing' to go to her.

"It's ok, you are doing great, baby. Only a little bit longer." Sam whispered and kissed her forehead. Sam filled a small bag and held it in one hand as she left her room. Her other hand held Abi's small one. They got to the bottom of the stairs and Pete was waiting by the front door.

"Ready to go home?" Pete asked like nothing out of the ordinary.

"Yep." Sam said turning to Abi. "Wait here while I go lock up." Sam looked into her eyes, the look they shared speaking volumes. Abi nodded. Sam left and locked the back door, her hand running over the surfaces, stopping at that drawer by the door. Opening it quickly she grabbed the object she wanted and slipped it into her bag, closing the door to the kitchen as she left. Pete hadn't moved from his place in the doorway and Abi hadn't moved from the stairs.

"You ready now?" Pete asked impatiently taking their bags. Sam nodded and he opened the door stepping out first. He knew she hadn't changed. No matter what happened she still came crawling back. She was still the same woman he had made her and still the same woman she always was inside. Sam followed him through the door, turning to pick Abi up.

"No! Wait," Abi cried, as Sam went to shut the door, "Jack! Jack!"

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Another cliffhanger I know. But more coming soon... 


	10. Pathetic

I am so sorry for the long wait.. this fic had been forgotten, and I had lost motivation.. however, I have found motivation again and hopefully will be adding new chapters. I won't be updating quite so often, but will be updating every week or so. So sorry for the long wait..

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Sam froze. Turning slowly to face her daughter.

"Mom, I want Jack." Abi cried, her bottom lip wobbling gently. Sam shut their front door, and went to her. Abi leapt into her arms, and Sam held her tightly, kissing the top of her head.

"I know you do, and I promise you, we'll be with him soon." Sam whispered, holding her in her arms.

"Get in, people are looking." Pete said impatiently.

"Got a problem with people looking, Pete?" Sam asked, as she walked down her front path, Abi walked beside her, her small hand held on tightly to Sam's.

"Get in the car." Pete replied. Sam's fingers ran over the small object in her pocket, and she switched it on. She hated having to have help, but she would never put her daughter in danger.

Jack flipped through the files in his overflowing inbox. Tapping his foot impatiently under the desk, he waited for the next team to come home. He sighed. Beeping reached his ears and his pulled his first drawer open. The small black beeper flashed its little red lights at him. Before he even looked to see the number he grabbed it and ran from his office, collecting Daniel, Teal'c and Janet on the way. When they reached the surface they all rushed to his truck and sped away.

Sam heard them before she saw them; she heard the screech of the tyres. Pete lunged towards her. Jack jumped from the truck before it had stopped. Anger boiled inside him. Seeing Pete with his hands on Sam and Abi, made him feel something he hadn't felt in years. Hatred. Running over behind him he yanked Pete by the collar and pulled him to the ground.

"How dare you touch them," he bellowed, pulling Pete to his feet.

"What has this got to do with you?" He replied, turning to Sam, "why did you call them?"

"They are my friends, or at least I hope they are." Sam said, looking at them. Janet, Teal'c and Daniel were standing at the side of the truck.

"Carter, do you want him here?" Jack asked.

"No. I don't want him anywhere near me, or Abi."

"You can't stop me seeing my daughter." Pete cried.

"She's not your daughter, you pathetic son of a bitch."

Pete stepped back, clenching his fist he threw the first punch, landing squarely on Jack's jaw. He reached up and wiped blood from his mouth. Sam pulled Abi away and held her behind her. Jack leapt forward; his fist collided with Pete's jaw with a sickening thud. Pete fell to the ground, and Jack collapsed onto his knees.

* * *

Please R&R.. sorry its so short x 


	11. Tears

It's only a short update, but I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter.. as usual please R&R..

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Sam looked between the two men before her on the ground. Janet, Daniel and Teal'c had by then came over. Teal'c nudged Pete with his foot and Janet rushed to Jack.

"Jack! Are you ok?" Janet began, going into doctor mode. Sam leant down and took Abi up into her arms, hugging her tightly.

"I'm fine, doc, I'm fine." Jack swatted Janet away and stood, heading straight for Sam and Abi. Sam looked up as Jack walked towards them and she met him halfway.

"Abi can you go to Daniel, Janet and T, please." Abi nodded and ran to them leaving Sam to talk to Jack.

"Thank you." Sam said softly.

"I should have done that a long time ago." Jack replied.

"Jack, I am so sorry. I'm sorry that I went with Pete, I am sorry for not telling you about Abi when I found out, I am sorry that I let myself get mixed up in this mess." Tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm sorry that I let you get mixed up in this mess." A sob wracked her body, and she shook softly. He rushed forward taking her in his arms. "I've messed everything up."

"Shhh, it's going to be okay." Jack soothed.

"No. No it's not." She shrugged Jack's arms from her and wrapped her arms around herself. Her eyes burned with tears.

"Sam." Jack tried

"I can't." She turned away from him, tears poured down her face. He walked up behind her and gently placed his hand on her shoulder. She sighed softly and turned to face him. "Please, I put… I put Abi at risk. For a few moments… I even thought about going with him. I thought it might have been easier, but then I thought… I thought of the way Abi was with you, and I knew. I knew whatever happened I didn't want to lose you again. I want Abi to have a father."

"I promise you I'm going to be with you, I want to be there for you." Jack said softly. Sam looked up into his eyes, a tear rolled down her cheek. Jack reached up and wiped it away, and then enveloped her in his arms, Sam gripped his shoulders and cried.

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Please R&R and i'll put the next chapter up as soon as i've finished it... 


	12. Try

I'm sorry for the long wait, but i've been lacking motivation with this for a while now.. anyway here is the next chapter, hopefully another'll be on the way soon.. Please read and review, thank you x

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Pete had signed the papers, albeit with a little help from Teal'c, and Sam was back to being Colonel Samantha Carter. Samantha Shanahan died as soon as his pen touched the divorce papers. Sam bought champagne and invited Janet, Daniel, Teal'c and Jack round to celebrate. She knew everything wouldn't just fall back into place, but she would be damned if she didn't try to make it. They all sat in her lounge, Daniel and Janet on her small couch, Teal'c was in an armchair and she and Jack were on the larger couch. An empty place between them where Abi had sat before she had ran off to get something she wanted to show them.

"Sam, we shouldn't have let you go so easily." Janet sat after a few moments. "None of us tried." She looked around, Daniel had his eyes down and Jack played with his hands. Even Teal'c looked uncomfortable.

"I shouldn't have left, Jan. I made the biggest mistake of my life." Sam replied.

"Jan's right," Daniel began, "we let you go, and we didn't even try to stop you. I guess we all though, well I thought you would change your mind, realise how much you missed the job."

"I missed the job, of course I did. Someone who saves the world and works with extraordinary people to being an air traffic controller? I used to command spaceships. Controlling planes, and their flight paths was nothing compared to that." She paused briefly. "In that control tower I wasn't Colonel Samantha Carter, US Air Force, I wasn't a woman who had fought in wars, who had saved the world, I was just Samantha Shanahan, housewife and mother, and another 'dumb blonde'. A PhD and military honours didn't count. I missed Sam Carter and I missed her life."

"Why didn't you come back?" Janet asked.

"In some weird way I thought I was happy. I thought we were happy." Sam answered, closing her eyes for a second. Suddenly Abi came running back in, in her arms was a black box. Sam blinked and knew immediately what the contents were.

"Found it," Abi said excitedly, "back in Denver this box used to be at the back of her wardrobe, Mom used to show me it sometimes, for as far as I can remember she showed me at Christmas and on my birthday." Abi smiled and returned to sit between Sam and Jack. "So I went to look for it in the wardrobe but it was beside her bed. So it took longer to look for."

"Abi, I don't think the General, Daniel, Teal'c or Janet want to see," Sam began reaching for the box.

"Sure we do," Jack said smiling at the little girl. Abi beamed back, and lifted the lid. Inside the box was everything that had survived Pete's destructive tendencies. A stack of photos, cards, a badge with 'Carter' on it that she would have worn with her dress blues, anything that reminded her of her life before, her life now.

"Mom always showed me these on my birthday." Abi began, taking out the stack of photos held together by an elastic band. "Mom told me all about you. All about who you are."

"You never forgot." Janet whispered, tears coming to her eyes as Sam shook her head.

"What did your Mom say about that one?" Jack said as he looked at a photo of the team caked in mud, well himself, Sam and Daniel caked in mud. Teal'c must have been the one taking the photo, as he wasn't in it.

"She said you all went to a place that was very muddy and that Daniel tripped over pulling you down with him. Mom said she went to help you up and ended up falling over in it to." Jack chuckled.

"I think it was Jack that fell over," Daniel said to Abi, shielding his mouth from Jack in an attempt to hide what he was saying.

"Me? Fall over? Never!" Jack replied dramatically earning a laugh from the little girl.

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R&R please, as usual.. thank you for all your lovely reviews, they are the reason I continue writing.. x


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